GENRE: Gay Spicy Romance
LENGTH: 15,952 words
RATING:

RILEY -- Shane has been my favorite person for my entire life. I’ve always loved him, and now I’m in love with him. I know he cares about me, too, but I’m sure he just thinks of me as his best friend’s kid. Now that he’s finished with active duty, he’ll probably start dating, and I’ll have to pretend to be happy for him. At least I’ll have this Christmas vacation with him and my family to look back on. I wasn’t planning to ever tell him how I felt, but now we’re snowed in together and I’m not sure I can hide my feelings. Especially when he holds me and tells me everything will be okay.

SHANE -- I devoted my life to the military. The closest thing I have to a family is my best friend and his wife and kids. I would never risk damaging that relationship by making a move on Riley, even though I realized last year that I’m in love with him. He should have someone better, anyway; someone smart and young and happy, like him. I don’t deserve him, especially now that my secrets have put his life in danger. I’ll do anything to keep Riley from being hurt, especially by me. But when he asks me for something I so badly want to give him, can I find the strength to say no?

EXCERPT:
Note: may contain sexually explicit scenes of a homoerotic nature.

At midday it was still snowing. Soft drifts had piled up and picturesque fluffs of snow lined the window sills and balanced on the evergreens outside, like something from a Christmas card. We weren’t going anywhere.

Riley came up behind me, looking over my shoulder. He was standing very close, almost touching me, and after a second he slid his arms around my waist. Slowly, as if I might step away.

I should have done, but it was the last thing I wanted.

When I didn’t move, he sighed in relief and pressed closer, holding me more firmly. I couldn’t help sighing, too, and relaxing into him.

“The snow looks pretty deep,” he commented. “I guess we’re not going anywhere today.”

“No. Sorry.” I wasn’t sorry, selfish bastard that I was.

“I’m not sorry,” Riley echoed my thoughts. “It’s nice here, like this. Just us ...” His hand on my stomach strayed an inch lower.

He kissed my neck, and my cock twitched. He must have felt the movement, with his hand so close. He made a little sound and opened his mouth, sucking at my clean skin. His hand moved lower, palming my filling cock.

I caught his wrist. “Riley, wait.”

“You don’t want to? Did I -- did you not want me?” His voice wavered and went small.

“Of course I want to. Want you. I --” I love you. The thought was shrapnel in my chest. I should have said no, when he kissed me the first time. When he took off his clothes and reached for me. I hadn’t wanted to stop, of course I hadn’t. But I could have; I had the self-control for that. What I didn’t have was the will to hurt him, even a little. The thought of bruising his heart by rejecting him ... I just couldn’t. I would give him whatever he wanted, no matter how much it broke me.

And I was already broken, wasn’t I? At least I’d have this to remember, like an ember to keep me warm. But I couldn’t let him know how much I cared for him -- he didn’t need the guilt of hurting me weighing on his tender spirit.

I turned in the circle of his arms and cupped his cheek. Kissed his mouth gently, enjoying his eager response as much as the softness of his lips.

His mouth opened to mine. We kissed for a long time, standing by the cold window, just holding each other.

Finally Riley pulled back a little, cheeks pink. “Can we go to bed now?”